Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
These tits shall not be calmed
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
