Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
