We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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