just tell him i said nine months
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
