what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
