i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
