yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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