Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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