yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
