So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
