i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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