Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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