I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
