are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
