It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
