Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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