that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Rumble strips road head = magical
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
