Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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