He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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