hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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