2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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