Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
