pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
