I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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