i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
