I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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