Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
