Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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