The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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