I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So squirting runs in the family.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
