kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
