I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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