sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
