I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
