Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
