don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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