i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I want her autograph on my taint
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
