things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
