hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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