the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So much rum. So many feels.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
false alarm, still single
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