i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
