god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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