Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
