Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
