I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
