take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
