I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
