I don't think brook has ever known best
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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