Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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