there's paper in my vomit.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
True strength comes from lack of pants
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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