I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
you had me at cake vodka
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
