But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
