after a month anything with tits is on the radar
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
