Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
